A desi dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.He goes first to the German hell and asks What do they do here? " He is told " First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day. The man does not like the sound of that at all,so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more.

He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell. Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds thatthere is a very long line of people of all countries USA,Germany, Canada, Iran, Dubai,etc waiting to get in. Amazed he asks "What do they do here?" He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day. But that is exactly the same as all

the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in? Because there is never any

electricity, so the electric chair does not work, someone stole all the nails, and the devil used to be a public servant, so he comes in, punches his time-card and then goes back home..."

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1. Don't imagine you can change a man unless he's in diapers.

2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.

3. If they put a man on the moon -- they should be able to put them all up there.

4. Never let your man's mind wander -- it's too little to be out alone.

5. Go for younger men. You might as well, they never mature anyway.

6. Men are all the same -- they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

8. Women don't make fools of men -- most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

9. Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.

10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.

14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

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1. Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!!

2. An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.

3. Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.

4. Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.

5. I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

6. A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free.

7. Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.

8. Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier

9. "A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle and fish need not bicycle"

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Telugu Guy : "Hello, May I know your good name please?"

James Bond : "The name's Bond..(smiles and then says).... James Bond."

James Bond : "And you?"

Telugu Guy : "I am Sai... Venkata Sai... Siva Venkata Sai... Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai.... Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai... Rajasekhara Srinivasula LaxminarayanaSiva Venkata Sai..... Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai.... Bommiraju Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana SivaVenkata Sai.... James Bond faints.........

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1. A Computer can wait for you forever.

2. A Computer does not compare you with it's past users

3. A Computer does not mind if you have a Computer at home and in the office.

4. A Computer won't say lets just be friends.

5. You can mute the computer whenever you want.

6. It's easy to turn on a computer.

7. You never have to say sorry no matter what you do to it.

8. You don't have to give it expensive Valentine gifts, New Year gifts, Birthday gifts, Anniversary gifts.

9. You can upgrade your computer if you are not satisfied with its performance or specifications.

10. Theres always Ctrl + Alt + Del.

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All Asses

We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons",

where :) means a smile and :( is a frown. Sometimes these are represented by :-) and :-( respectively.Well, how about some "E-Moonicons"?

Here goes:

(_!_) a regular ass; (__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass

(_._) a flat ass

(_^^_) a bubble ass

(_*_) a sore ass

(_!__) a lop-sided ass

{_!_} a swishy ass

(_o_) an ass that's been around

(_O_) an ass that's REALLY been around

(_x_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_o^^o_) a wise ass

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

(_13_) an unlucky ass

(_$_) Money coming out of his ass

(_?_) Dumb Ass