Newton's Laws of Immigration

1st Law
A Desi will continue to stay in the United States of America due to the inertia of the Green Card until and unless an external force called Deportation is applied.

2nd Law
The force of deportation id defined by F = ma;
Where m = Amount Of Money Desi earned/saved in USA.
a = dm/dt, the rate at which Desi saved money.
(This is contrary to the common belief that Desi will return back after making lot of money)

3rd Law
For each and every Desi that goes back to Desh for a temporary visit, a Desi of the opposite sex will come to USA on a permanent visit.

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Misunderstanding?

Sharon who was a heavy smoker invested in a cigarette lighter to economize in matches. After a short time it began to give her trouble. So she spoke to Martin who had one, having just seen him light a cigarette with it and put it in his pocket.

Martin: (Misunderstanding her and feeling a bit embarrassed) "I'm not used to discussing such things with ladies."

Martin: "Oh, sometimes..."

Martin: "Oh yes, especially in cold weather."

Martin: "No, most certainly not!"

Martin: "Of course I haven't."

Martin: "Er, well... I'm afraid that you are a naughty girl."

Martin: "Yes, it is rather on the long side."

Martin: "Yes."

Martin: "No no, not now. We had better wait until it's dark."

Martin collapses.

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Musharraf wanted to raise money for his country, and on being

told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. However at the local auction, the going price for was very high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third! The next day the local paper:

MUSHARRAF'S ASS SHOWS

Mian Sahib was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in

the race again, and this time it won. The paper read:

MUSHARRAF'S ASS OUT IN FRONT

His wife was so upset with this kind of publicity that she

ordered Mian MUSHARRAF not to enter the donkey in another race. The paper headline read:

WIFE SCRATCHES MUSHARRAF'S ASS

This was too much for WIFE. So she ordered MUSHARRAF to get rid

of the donkey. Mian Sahib decided to give it to BENAZIR. The

paper headline the next day read:

BENAZIR TAKES MUSHARRAF'S ASS

Followed by another on the next day:

NOW BENAZIR HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN

All the opposition leaders got very upset at this kind of

publicity. They informed Benazir that she would have to get rid

of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for Rs.500. Next day the headline read:

BENAZIR SELLS HER ASS FOR Rs. 500

This was too much for the veteran opposition leader, Nawabzada

Nasrullah Khan, so he ordered Benazir to buy back the donkey lead

it to the plains where it could run wild and free. Next day, the headline in the paper read:

BENAZIR ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE

The Nawabzada was buried the next day and Pakistan got rid of the

biggest Ass it had produced in the bargain

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